英语求帮助，分析下这封邮件有什么需要改进的地方。从语气，语言用法，内容，结构发面分析
Allow me to introduce myself. I am Kok Leong, a senior and experienced marketing
executive for Catalyst Consulting since two years ago. I believe you have heard
about Catalyst? My boss, Melvin Ong, was interviewed in the local newspaper last
year due to his finalist position in the Best Business Innovations of 2012. Our
company, though established only in the last three years, has been very
successful in helping companies like yours to cut costs. In fact, cutting costs
is our expertise and we already count several prominent companies such as Pioneer
Electronics and Edison Steelworks as our valuable clients. I am sure you will
be very excited when you read what Catalyst can do for you!
Don’t you want to improve your profit margins and deal with competition better? Many companies use ad-hoc cost-cutting measures. For example, each department has
its own ways of cutting costs, such as set up steering teams, calling in
external consultants to identify problems or management will establish
different “top down” targets for the various backend production departments.
Very often there is miscommunication between departments and this will erode
trust because individual and parallel cost-cutting programs may not meet global
targets and savings become insignificant thus wasting time and effort for
everybody. In a worst case scenario, like in a major crisis, a company may just
sideline or abandon one or more cost-cutting measures which lead to detrimental
results. As you are the chief financial officer, imagine how you will feel if
that happens to Sky Manufacturing.
To
give you an example of what we do, recently we helped one semiconductor firm. Their
profits were down and they were desperate about reducing costs. So they came to
us. Basically we have what we call a one week “kick off” workshop that is very
intense. First, we held telephone conferences with all sites and we identified
local cost reduction projects, highest volume products and then we benchmark
information with competitors. Next, lead engineers and financial controllers have
to update the operational progress of all projects and validate the financial
impact. After all personnel disclosed their cost-cutting plans, we were able to
integrate all the plans into one single cost reduction program which we
specially tailor and customized for the company. It was a great success as the
setup made everything very transparent for all teams and members. There are
monthly information exchanges and quarterly performance reviews to ensure
overall profitability for projects. We taught the company how to select the
various leaders for the cost reduction programs. Of course the leaders must
meet the following criteria:后面的超字数了。。可以看图片么
