This week as i talked with a friend i recalled a story which iheard this summer.A compassionate person,seeing a butterfly
struggling to free itself from its cocoon ,and wanting to help, very gently loosened the filaments to from an opening.The butterfly
was freed,emerged from the cocoon but could not fly.What the compassionate person did not know was that only through the birth
struggle can the wings grow strong enough for flight.Its shortened life was spent on the ground;it never knew freedom,never really
lived.
I call it learning to love with an open hand.I am learning that I must free the one I love,for if clutch or cling,try to
control,I lose what I try to hold.Whenever I impose my wish or want or try to exert power over another,I rob him or her of the
full realization of growth and maturation.I limit by my act of possession,no matter how kind my intention.I can limit and injure by
the kindest acts of protecting and protection or concern.Over extented it can say to the other person more eloquently than
words,You are unable to care to care for yourself;I must take care of you because you are mine.I am responsible for you.
As i learn and practice more and more, I can say to the one I love:I love you so much that I can set you free to walk beside me
injoy and in sadness.I will share your tear but I will not ask you not to cry.I will respond to your needs.I will care and comfort
you,but I will not hold you up when you can walk alone.And this I call loving with an open hand.