Baby Geniuses Script
He's out.
- What do you mean, he's out?
- Sylvester. He's escaped.
Impossible.
Maximum alert.
- Damn it.
- He's been spotted on the mezzanine.
Secure outer perimeters!
Alert topside!
Initiate probers! Move!
He's exiting the building!
Move out!
There he is!
Nail him!
He's heading for the maze!
We've got him!
Cut him off!
Toward the fountain!
There he goes!
He's headed back!
Coming back toward the fountain!
He's approaching the fountain!
Seal him off!
We've got him.
Be careful, if he's dangerous!
There's nowhere to go, Sly!
Give it up!
Security, go.
The rest of you, come with me.
Check the perimeters.
Nice try, pal.
Take him.
Stop him!
That'll be quite enough, Sylvester.
There you are, Doc.
He nearly made it this time.
Tomorrow you will explain
how a mere toddler manages to escape...
from a laboratory
stories below ground.
What kind of kids you breedin'?
Nearly blew us away with karate.
Remarkable.
Once again we demonstrate
the superiority of the Kinder method.
Take him to the secret lab.
Analyzing voiceprint.
Review project in summary form.
Twincomp is designed
to prove the superiority...
of the Kinder method of child rearing.
To accomplish this, two years ago
twin brothers Sylvester and Whit...
were born to a specially selected
surrogate mother.
Director of Operations
Dr. Elena Kinder...
then arranged for baby Whit to be
adopted into the home of her niece...
and her niece's husband,
Dr. Dan Bobbins.
Baby Sly was placed in
the Babyco Hyperdevelopmental Habitat...
to be raised under the guidance
of the Kinder method.
Summarize operational protocol.
It is imperative for the integrity
of this experiment...
that no one ever discover
that Sly and Whit are twins...
especially the boys themselves.
A comparative evaluation of the boys
will occur by age ...
to establish conclusively
the superiority of the Kinder method.
Updating experiment log.
Last night Baby Sylvester made his way
up stories undetected...
escaping from his habitat in the lab.
Even though it now appears
that Baby Sly cannot be controlled...
I'm sure Dr. Kinder will be pleased by
this display of skill and intelligence.
I, however, remain apprehensive.
Under the guidance of its chairman,
Dr. Elena Kinder...
Baby Geniuses Inc.
and its parent company Babyco...
are the world's largest manufacturer
of products for the baby.
Babyco is also
a vital charitable organization...
which sponsors orphanages
in ten countries around the globe...
the latest one dedicated just a week ago
right here in Pasadena.
Today we are deeper
in Dr. Kinder's debt...
for the great gift to our community...
Joyworld, the world's largest
indoor amusement park.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you
the founder and CEO of Babyco...
my friend, Dr. Elena Kinder.
Thank you. Thank you.
I'm gonna break out.
You can't get hives just because
your aunt comes into the room.
I can't help it.
She starts lying, I start breaking out.
Ladies and gentlemen,
thank you all for coming here today.
We at Babyco believe that babies
have a language of their own...
and we're dedicated to proving it.
Our research in infant potentiality...
is the model of the field...
but, in the final analysis...
the simple answer as to
why we do what we do is...
we love babies.
"Loves babies."
Loves money.
All right, ladies and gentlemen,
let's have a party.
Welcome to Joyworld.
The park, of course,
will be free for all children...
but the monies we collect from adults
will go to...
the Babyco
Worldwide Orphanage Foundation.
Is this a terrific lady, or what?
This is great. She does a lot of good.
You gotta admit that.
She's good at stealing your ideas.
That's what she's good at.
Attention!
Has anyone lost a baby?
A very big baby?
Ladies and gentlemen, Baby Bunting!
That looks exactly like
your illustration.
That looks like Boo-Boo Boy
from chapter two of Baby's Good Day.
Baby Bunting came into this world
just last week.
Everything is fully controlled...
by our computerized command center.
Hiya, fellas!
Go to crossover mode.
Okay, Richard,
give me Baby Bunting vocal.
- What's your name, little girl?
- My name is Erin.
Oh, what a sweet name.
Give Baby Bunting a big hug.
And cue burp now.
Well, think about changing his diaper.
Come on, honey, this way.
Kids! Good news!
Robotic Santa and the robotic elves
are waiting to greet you...
at the robotic North Pole.
In fact, we have robotic entertainers
located throughout the park...
all controlled
from our central command center.
Let's cue up for Robo-Zoo.
And here we have the world's
most unique animal farm.
We call it Robo-Zoo.
Each child gets a remote control...
so they can control
their own robotic animal.
Doctor, why wouldn't you have
real animals in your zoo?
Good heavens!
Anybody could do that!
A plastic zoo.
That's definitely Aunt Elena's idea.
At least she could've introduced you.
She steals from your book.
She steals from your research.
I'm flattered.
She knows you're about to make
a breakthrough in infant prelanguage.
She'll probably try to steal that too.
She's not Attila the Hun.
Honey, we're barely able to afford
your research facility...
not to mention
the nursery and preschool.
She does this all the time.
It's just not right.
- I think she's just goal-oriented.
- Her goal is to take over the world.
Believe me, I know. I've lived with her
for more than half my life.
And look how great you turned out.
Lenny?
Lenny!
Where are you going
with those children?
What children?
These are plumbers.
They're gonna help me fix
the kitchen sink. Good luck kiss.
With this house,
you need more than luck.
Let's get to work.
Just as you thought.
The baby girl's line
of expandable infant clothing...
has elicited a tremendous response
in our first research pass.
Huge numbers from Kmart and Wal-Mart
shoppers, where penetration is weakest.
That should increase our market share
dramatically. Put it in production.
Heep, of the new ones,
how many possibles?
- Eight show potential.
- Eight out of five hundred?
Elena, statistically, genius occurs once
in individuals.
We expected to discover only five
geniuses from the Pasadena orphanage.
We've got eight.
Don't tell me
how well we're doing.
Our orphanages and secret labs
are costing us million a year.
The sole purpose of these orphanages...
is to allow us to cull out
the geniuses, the natural leaders.
- We'll do better.
- I'll settle for more like Sylvester.
Look what he did last night.
All our emphasis has been on keeping
the world out of the secret lab.
No one ever considered the possibility
of a baby escaping.
Just look at this wonderful world we've
created for our babies to grow up in.
Why would anyone
want to escape from here?
The one who did is in the work station,
no doubt planning his next escape.
Hello, Sylvester. Hi.
- What's he constructing?
- We don't know.
He does all kinds
of extraordinary things.
Yeah, for all kinds
of extraordinary purposes.
Just look at that intensity.
There's no other baby like Sylvester.
- Well, maybe one.
- His twin, Whit?
Mayday! Mayday!
Whitley, where is helper number one?
Give me the lug wrench!
Whit, hurry up! Go!
On the double!
Uh-oh.
Listen, you monkey!
This is a monkey wrench.
Plumber's helper number one,
you're fired. Get out of town.
What is that terrible noise?
Noise to us.
But we've had the computers
analyzing every possible permutation.
What we hear as incoherent noise
may actually be a musical masterpiece.
Listen to our computer's interpretation
of Basil's playing.
That's remarkable.
It has all the complexities
of a symphony by Haydn or Beethoven.
If that's the case, it's possible
that what we hear as baby talk...
is actually conversation.
Exactly.
And look at this.
A child writing on a pad, right?
No.
After checking
several hundred languages...
we found out they're writing the ancient
and forgotten language of cuneiform.
Not only do these babies speak their own
language, they understand all others.
Now watch this.
Subject one speaks...
and we immediately see activity
here in the lower limbic region...
while subject two, as he listens...
is active in the forebrain.
There's no doubt they are conversing.
We just don't understand them.
The instant a child begins to speak
in any known language...
the limbic activity ceases.
- As though they forget.
- Exactly. Bobbins was right.
What if the limbic activity
is not merely speech?
What if it's stored knowledge
from an early parent gene pool?
Passed from generation to generation.
Amazing!
Every baby might know
the secrets of the universe.
- This would be a great breakthrough.
- And revolutionize the human map.
If we find the key to the human mind...
every child will be educated
in the Kinder method.
Every great mind will be ours to mold.
Let's get them all
into the amphitheater.
Hello, my little baby geniuses.
What are we discussing today, hmm?
Could it be
postmodern ethical construction?
How about...
the mechanics of human knowledge?
My little Sly one.
Ah, Sly, tell me...
what are you thinking, huh?
Come on.
You can look at me.
What are you thinking?
What are you saying?
Enlighten me, my little Einstein.
What do you think?
Should I enlighten her?
She won't understand.
She doesn't speak our language,
but go ahead, have fun.
Lead us through the wilderness,
my little warrior.
All right, all right, that does it.
Listen, Doc, if you're gonna talk
out of your ass all the time...
maybe you should wear a bow tie
on your butt.
Bow tie on her butt?
On her butt?
That's disgusting, Sylvester.
Huh.
You may think because I don't
understand what you're saying...
that I don't understand
what's going on.
Don't be too sure about that, honey.
Yeah, right.
And don't call me honey.
Okay, Sly-man: one.
Dr. Kinder: zip.
- You're always busting her chops.
- Are you kidding?
Give me a break.
She's Darth Vader in a skirt.
Dr. Kinder's our benefactor.
Because of her there will be
a new order, and we will be its leaders.
Don't have a cow, Basil.
Why do you talk like that?
Your syntax is atrocious.
It's because he watches television
all the time.
How does he do that?
He converts the monitors.
You oughta all watch TV, check out
the real world, like Jerry Springer...
and have fun.
This is exactly what Dr. Kinder
is trying to overcome.
Moral decay.
Now you sound like Heep.
"Discipline, discipline, discipline.
Reward and deprive.
Give the babies a crumb,
take it away.
Like Pavlov's dogs...
hold up the bone, the doggies salivate.
If they behave,
give 'em a little gristle."
If you don't like it,
why don't you just leave?
Yeah, he'll just take the next bus.
Duh!
You're such a weasel, Basil.
Nice face, weasel.
You fool.
Dr. Heep is watching.
Don't mess with the Sly-man, Heepster.
We're back!
Dickie?
Where is he?
Carrie? Whit?
The kids aren't here?
Wait a minute.
Hello!
Anybody?
Whit? Is that you?
What's this mess?
Look at all this water.
No fraternizing with the help.
Out!
Carrie, look at you.
You are soaking wet.
And look at Whit.
You two go for a swim.
Uncle Lenny and I
are gonna have a talk. Okay?
This water, is it dangerous?
Oh, please.
The power's out, anyway.
The power's out. Great.
Where's Dickie?
I don't know.
Nice do, Dickie.
You look like Mt. Pepto-Bismol
just erupted.
Pink is cosmic, all right?
For the last time, my name ain't Dickie.
It's Ice Pick.
- Would you people get that straight?
- Ice Pick.
I love the creativity and imagination
that you've displayed here...
but no matter how outrageous
you act or dress...
I'm not gonna fire you,
so give it a rest.
这个只是四分之一，也不知道够不够呀
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