男朋友因为我俩的争执删除了我的微信,虽然我们事后有过沟通,但在矛盾发生的第六天,他还是做出了这个决定。看起来,我们的沟通并没有达到预期的效果,他对我的信任似乎也并不充足。那么,为什么会在第六天选择删掉我呢?我认为,这可能是因为我们在社交媒体上你来我往的互动实际上是一种“间接对话”,他可能对我感到失望,并且耐心耗尽。他甚至说了“一个人也要有仪式感”这样的话,似乎在表明他想要独立,并且过得精彩。
他可能希望我们能够面对面地谈谈。这一点可以从他在我发信息后不回复的态度中看出。但我没有抓住他的真正意图,依旧在网络中试图“沟通”,最终导致他失去了耐心。我的建议是,你可以尝试三天后,找机会和男朋友面对面沟通。如果不走这个过程,你们的关系可能很难修复。
你可能会问,之前已经沟通过,为什么他还是不信任我?可能是因为我们之前的沟通方式不正确,你需要保持自信,不要让他觉得你在恳求他,同时要正确表达你的想法,让他知道你的真实感受,而不是只是讲道理。你要让他明白,你解释的原因是因为你珍惜这段感情,因为你爱他,不希望感情就这样结束。如果他明白了这一点,并且也爱你,他会放下姿态,你们的关系有望修复。
这让我想起了自己的经历。前段时间,男朋友和我闹别扭,因为我的性格比较安静,所以没有过多解释。但他会在空闲时不断给我发微信,疑问连连,总之就是充满怀疑。我并不想在情绪波动时交流,这样很容易加剧矛盾。我选择等待,等他情绪稳定后再找机会沟通。在那一天,我 mostly listened as he vented, until his emotions peaked and he deleted my WeChat. Seeing that, I admit, was really painful—not because of the misunderstanding, but because it felt like I was being discarded. I didn't say anything, didn't call him. Later that night, around 10 o'clock, he came back. I looked at him and he seemed a bit embarrassed. I knew he realized he had made a mistake but couldn't quite express it.
Later, when he was lounging on the sofa scrolling through his phone, I brought him a glass of juice and sat beside him, gently stroking his knee. That's when he finally relaxed and apologized for deleting my WeChat and not communicating better. I could tell he was quite a bit calmer, so I told him the whole story, answering every question he had. In the end, I added, "Love me and trust me." Yes, when dealing with a boyfriend's anger, it's important to handle it appropriately and not get too hung up on the question of trust. If he loves you, he'll trust you. If he understands you, he'll know who you are and trust you. Otherwise, no amount of talking will matter.
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