如何将中文翻译成英文？《青蛙和蛇的故事》，紧急，请快

Question

池塘边，有一片青青的草地。草地上可热闹了，一群大大小小的青蛙正在扭着屁股学跳舞。不知什么时候，一条银环蛇正悄悄地溜过来，看见那些活蹦乱跳的青蛙，口水跟瀑布一样直流。然而，还没等银环蛇溜过去，青蛙已经四下逃散啦！“这可不好办。”银环蛇眼珠一转，“有了！”只见它在嫩绿的草地中央，和树丛中那百灵鸟优美的节拍，扭动着纤细的腰肢舞起来。它那银白色的鳞片在阳光下闪闪发光！青蛙在草丛里都看呆了。它们在草丛里窃窃私语：“嗨！挺不错的吗！”“要是我们能学学就好了。”“可它是银环蛇呀！”“看看总行吧！”青蛙们边说边情不自禁地走了过去。银环蛇不禁沾沾自喜，对青蛙们说：“亲爱的青蛙兄弟，我跳的舞怎么样呀？”那只领头的青蛙迟疑地点了点头。银环蛇早就看穿了它的心思，说：“青蛙兄弟，你们还怕我呀！别怕，我已经改吃虫子了！”“真的？”青蛙半信半疑地说道，“你真的改吃虫子了？”“当然，从今往后，你们就是我的朋友了。不信，我发誓……” 银环蛇就这样神气地当上了众青蛙的舞蹈老师。它每天早上都领着青蛙到池塘的旁边，教了迪斯科，又教扭秧歌，可带劲啦！ 可是，悲剧正在悄悄地发生着。有一天，银环蛇来检阅青蛙们的舞蹈。它趁前面的青蛙跳得正起劲的时候，银环蛇迅速地抓来两只后面的青蛙，一股脑门吞了下去。接着，它抹抹嘴若无其事地对青蛙们说：“今天就练这里，明天接着练。” 晚上，青蛙们发现了自己的同伴少了两个。“它们会不会被银环蛇吃了？”“不可能！银环蛇老师对我们发过誓的！”“对呀！可能是去了小松鼠家去了。”“可能是去了小白兔家了。”大家议论纷纷。 第二天，银环蛇仍旧检阅青蛙们的舞蹈。一只青蛙躲进草丛，它看见银环蛇贼溜溜的眼睛四周一转，一张大嘴扑向一只青蛙，把它吞了下去。躲在草丛里的青蛙差点吓出声来，于是火速赶到动物警察局报案。黑猫警长一听银环蛇又做坏事了，立即派雄鹰警官随着青蛙去捉拿凶犯。 雄鹰背着青蛙，飞快地来到目的地。银环蛇抬头一看，心知不妙，连忙逃命，只听雄鹰大吼：“哪里逃！”冲了下去捉起银环蛇便到警察局去了。 青蛙们把银环蛇吃同伴们的事情一五一十地告诉了活着的同伴们。众青蛙恍然大悟：“真是蛇蝎心肠，本性难改。”“我们真不应该相信他。” 第三天，动物法庭召开审判大会。严肃的猫头鹰审判长问：“如何处置银环蛇？”“死罪！”动物们异口同声地说。众陪审员一致通过。最后，公正廉洁的猫头鹰审判长郑重地宣布：“银环蛇犯罪情况属实，被判处死刑立即执行！”话音刚落，审判厅内响起了一片欢呼声。

Answer 1

By the pond side, there was a crowd of frogs swaying and dancing. Look how exciting they were! Suddenly, a coral snake showed up and sneaked to the frogs. Seeing those fresh and juicy frogs, the snake dribled like a starving wolf which has just found a delicious rabbit. However, the frogs had flet away before the snake made her move. "This would be tough", the snake hesitated. "Bingo!" the snake blurted out with his eye blinking.

Later, the snake came to the middle of the pasture. Following the lark's graceful pace, she began to dance with her delicate body. By this moment, those frogs were completely charmed by her squamas shining under the golden sunshine.

"Wow, she's awesome!"
"Maybe we'd ask her to teach us."
"But she's a coral snake!"
"No harm for watching anyway", the frogs whispered.

Finally, the frogs walked toward the snake on a impulse. The snake chuckled to herself and went, "hey, my dear little frog buddies, how's my dance eh?"(挨千刀的小淫蛇还是个英国妞）
The leader frog nodded but he didn't know the snake had already seen through him.

The snake went, "Oh, sweetheart
【如果这故事是讲给小朋友听的请把sweetheart改成dear little friend】,
don't be panic, i'm not gonna bite eh
【如果你要读这篇译文，在这里这个eh要读成升调】,
you know i've changed my taste, i'm a bugtarian now
【bugtarian是由vegetarian演变的再造词，意思是食虫的人，如果你觉得不保险请把这里改成'i eat bugs now'】 ."
"Oh, really?" the frog doubted her words. "You've really become a bugtarian
【正如我刚才说的，如果你觉得bugtarian不保险请改成"you do eat bugs now?"】
"Er...sure
【这里如果你觉得sure这个词太普通了，你可以改成hell fucking yeah, hell yeah, no shit, you bet, you think i'm fucking with you bro?之类的，当然你还可以用比较文明的例如absolutely, definitely,之类的】,
form now on, you're my mates/friends/buddies/bros! I swear to the God(if snakes got one=.=)【这里如果你不喜欢用"I swear to the God"你可以换成you have my words或者"If i'm lying, i'd be raped by Justin Biber who ain't no dude（你敢用最后那句你就威武了）】

In this way, the snake proudly became the frogs dancing teacher. Everyday, the snake led the frogs to the pond side and taught them how to dance the disco, the yanko. See how wonderful they were!【你这个“可带劲儿了”搞得我很纠结啊，英语里面实在没有能完全贴切的短语或词语能翻译的，我只好用wonderful代替了】
Yet, what the frogs didn't know was that the tragedy would finally come.

One day, the snake dropped by to see the frogs' rehearsal. While the other frogs were dancing vigorously, the snake grabbed two of the dancing frogs and ate'em up in a blink of eye.
"So much for today, we shall continue tomorrow!" said the snake, wiping her mouth like nothing had happened.

That night, the frogs found that two of them had missed for no reasons.
"is this possible that the snake ate them?"
"can't be, the teacher coral snake promised remember?"
"Well, maybe they went to the squirrel's hosue."
"otherwise, they went to the little bunny's" the frogs mumbled.

The next day, the snake continued watching frogs' rehearsal as she did yesterday. A frog hid in jungle captured the whole process. He almost screamed out as the snake was neaking around and devoured another frog. Then the "jungle-frog" stumbled to the police station for help. The Captain Blackcat sent the police immediately as he got the news.

In the meantime, the tercel took a short path and reached the snake before the others. Realizing her danger, the snake began to run.
"Freeze!" the tecel took a dive and grasped the snake in his mouth then flew back to the station. The frog in jungle told everyone alive the whole story which astonished the whole frogs.
"You can never make a snake eat bugs"
"How'd we trust that posioned bitch!?"【如果你是讲给小朋友听的请改成"I can't believed that we trusted her"】
everyone grumbled.

On the thirday day, on the court, the fair Judge Owl asked
"how'd we deal with this heartless muderer?"
"Die! Die! Die!" all the animals shouted as soon as the owl finished his words.
The jury passed the resolution then the fair, noble Judge Owl claimed
"Alright, as the coral snake was found guilty, she will be sentenced to death immediately!"
The applause broke out as he finished his words...【我靠，就这么给小蛇整死了啊？畜生啊】

Ps: Oh my sweetest holy penguin maria! this story's the most crap one that i've ever heard. motherfuckers, somebody really'd teach that son of a bitch how to write stories for children. I won't let my children read this fking shit anyway. it's totally nonsense 'n totally FUCKING GAY! it has no bloody logic! i don't even know how'd a HUMAN make up such a bullshit story like this. If i meet that twat writer, i'd rip his balls off and fry'em in a goddamn fry pan then stuff the balls in his sorry ass. i'm gonna make him the biggest faggot ever!

PPs:It cost me over three hours to translate this inhuman story. I'd tell you responsibly that it's total my stuff. not a bit from the internet, so use it well.AND....it kills me, dude, i mean it. this story's bloody stool~i don't even know why i translated it for you. you gotta thank me, man.

PPPs: Dude, use my reply as the "best answer". for your own sake!

PPPPs:sweet juses, it's been 3:43....gotta get some sleep..

【特此用中文注明给不懂英文者：本译文完全自己翻译，转载注明“此文乃人才Oswald杰作”，另外文章底下的附注为本人自己看法，如不喜欢请勿观看或者回复攻击性语言。另外，我直到翻译到最后才发现这该死的破玩意儿是黑猫警长，我靠，是不是在玩我呢……另另外，这故事不是真是为了讲给小朋友听的吧？如果真是的话，大哥，别讲了，耽误小孩成长，你看最后那蛇都给判死刑了，别给小朋友搞出阴影来。耽误成长】

邪门歪道英文问题请找Oswald，英文骂人骂不过别人怎么办？请找Oswald

我承认我崩溃了，

Answer 2

The pond, have a piece of the green grass. The grass can be noisy, a group of greatly small frog is twist bottom learn to dance. Don't know when I, a YinHuanShe are quietly slipped to come over, see the wriggling frog, saliva and waterfall dc. However, before YinHuanShe slip past the, the frog has stopped TaoSan! "This is going to be tricky." YinHuanShe eyes turn, "!" See it in the green grass and trees, in the central lark beautiful beat, writhing slim waists dance up. The silver flake glittered in the sun! The frog in the long grass all see stay. They are in the grass whispers: "hi! Nice!" "If we can learn." "But it is silver ?