懂英语的和擅长手抄报的来!~~~~~

前几天老师叫我出一张英语手抄报拿去参赛,我以前拿过不少奖,可能要求会高些,我希望大家为我的手抄报出个题目(英语的)..好的,我喜欢的有高份赏!!!~~
我的内容:英语笑话,谚语,谜语,名言之类的,但是以笑话为主..
"Joyful supreme headquarters"意思:"快乐大本营"我自己乱想的.可以吗?会不会大长了,请您提个意见'你有更好的题目吗??要说没有就给simon_ab 了啊!~~我认为他的回答最好也最负责!~~~

英语笑话:confession

A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional box, sits down but says nothing.
The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk just sits there.
Finally the Priest pounds three times on the wall.
The drunk replies, "ain't no use knockin, there's no paper on this side either."

A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"

一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."

Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says
"Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"!

四个好朋友在医院里碰面了,他们的妻子正在生产.护士过来对第一个男人说:"恭喜,你得了双胞胎."男人说:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼苏达双子队的经理."过了一会儿,护士过来对第二个男人说:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜欢:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最后,护士跑来对第三个男人说:"恭喜,你得了2对双胞胎."男人很开心地说:"真令人啼笑皆非,我为四季宾馆工作."他们三个都很高兴,但第四个伙伴急得像热锅上的蚂蚁,咒骂上帝并用头撞墙.他们问他有什么不对劲,他回答道:"什么不对劲?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"
呵呵,一个比一个效率高.

Osama Bin Laden, a Canadian, and President Bush were walking down the street when they saw a golden lamp. They rubbed it and a genie came out and said, "I will grant each one a wish that’s 3 together." The Canadian said, "I am a father and my son will be a farmer so I want the soil in Canada to be forever fertile." The genie said the magic words and the wish came true. Osama looked amazed so he wished for a wall around Afghanistan the genie said the magic words and again the wish came true. President Bush said "Genie, tell me more about this wall," the genie said,” It’s 50 feet thick and 500 feet tall so nothing can get in and nothing can get out." President Bush said,” Wow! That’s a big bridge...Fill it with water!!!
拉登,一加拿大人还有布什总统走在大街上看到一盏金色的灯.他们擦了擦灯出现了一个精灵.精灵说:"我要满足你们每人一个愿望总共三个."加拿大人说:"我是个父亲我儿子将成为农夫,因此我想让加拿大的土地永远肥沃."精灵说了咒语愿望实现了.拉登看了很惊奇,他希望有座城墙围绕阿富汗.精灵又说了咒语愿望又实现了.布什总统问:"精灵请告诉我关于这座墙的事情."精灵回答:"墙厚50英尺,高500英尺,因而里面的任何东西出不来外面的任何东西进不去."布什总统说:"哇!那是座大桥耶...注满水!!!"

My Baby Swallowed a Bullet

Young Mother: "Doctor, my baby swallowd a bullet. What shall I do ?

Doctor: "Don't point him at anybody."

Notes
1. to swallow a bullet: 吞下一颗子弹
2. to point at: 对...瞄准

allybaby
Once two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing. The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly:"First, you should make sure that he is already dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:"What should I do next?"

两个猎人进森林里打猎,其中一个猎人不慎跌倒,两眼翻白,似已停止呼吸。另一个猎人赶紧拿出手机拨通紧急求助电话。接线员沉着地说:“第一步,要先确定你的朋友已经死亡。”于是,接线员在电话里听到一声枪响,然后听到那猎人接着问:“第二步怎办?”

fool_fox

标题:I'm the boss
内容:The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local card and novelty shop and bought a small sign that read, "I'm the Boss". He then taped it to his office door.Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said. "Your wife called, she wants her sign back!"
note:staff meeting:员工会议

Wife's picture
A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks.
After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then he orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that one, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini.
The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring you martinis all night long. But you go to tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill."
The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife.When she starts to look good, then I know it's time to go home."
note:tavern 酒馆, 客栈
martini 马提尼酒
peek/pi;k/ n.一瞥, 匆忙看过v.偷看

英语笑话Jackasses jokes
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight around,
looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack,
a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark
saying "Jesus is watching you."

The thief nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off and froze.
When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, clicked the light
back on and began searching for more valuables.

Just as he pulled the stereo so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell
he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shone his light around
frantically looking for the source of the voice.

Finally, in the corner of the room, flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

"Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot.

"Yep," the parrot confessed, "I'm just trying to warn you."

The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who the are you?"

"Moses," replied the bird.

"Moses??!!" the burglar laughed. "What kind of stupid people would name a
parrot Moses?"

"Probably the same kind of people that would name a rottweiler Jesus," the
bird answered

A bad beginning makes a bad ending.
不善始者不善终。
A bad thing never dies.
遗臭万年。
A bad workman always blames his tools.
不会撑船怪河弯。
A bird in the hand is worth than two in the bush.
一鸟在手胜过双鸟在林。
A boaster and a liar are cousins-german.
吹牛与说谎本是同宗。
A bully is always a coward.
色厉内荏。
A burden of one‘s choice is not felt.
爱挑的担子不嫌重。
A candle lights others and consumes itself.
蜡烛照亮别人,却毁灭了自己。
A cat has 9 lives.
猫有九条命。
A cat may look at a king.
人人平等。
A close mouth catches no flies.
病从口入。
A constant guest is never welcome.
常客令人厌。
Actions speak louder than words.
事实胜于雄辩。
Adversity leads to prosperity.
穷则思变。
Adversity makes a man wise, not rich.
逆境出人才。
A fair death honors the whole life.
死得其所,流芳百世。
A faithful friend is hard to find.
知音难觅。
A fall into a pit, a gain in your wit.
吃一堑,长一智。
A fox may grow gray, but never good.
江山易改,本性难移。
A friend in need is a friend indeed.
患难见真情。
A friend is easier lost than found.
得朋友难,失朋友易。
A friend is never known till a man has need.
需要之时方知友。
A friend without faults will never be found.
没有十全十美的朋友。
‘After you‘ is good manners.
“您先请”是礼貌。
A good beginning is half done.
良好的开端是成功的一半。
A good beginning makes a good ending.
善始者善终。
A good book is a good friend.
好书如挚友。
A good book is the best of friends, the same today and forever.
一本好书,相伴一生。
A good conscience is a soft pillow.
不做亏心事,不怕鬼叫门。
A good fame is better than a good face.
美名胜过美貌。
A good husband makes a good wife.
夫善则妻贤。
A good medicine tastes bitter.
良药苦口。
A good wife health is a man‘s best wealth.
妻贤身体好是男人最大的财富。
A great talker is a great liar.
说大话者多谎言。
A hedge between keeps friendship green.
君子之交淡如水。
A joke never gains an enemy but loses a friend.
戏谑不能化敌为友,只能使人失去朋友。
A leopard cannot change its spots.
积习难改。
A liar is not believed when he speaks the truth.
说谎者即使讲真话也没人相信。
A light heart lives long.
静以修身。
A little body often harbors a great soul.
浓缩的都是精品。
A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.
一知半解,自欺欺人。
A little pot is soon hot.
狗肚子盛不得四两油。
All are brave when the enemy flies.
敌人逃窜时,人人都成了勇士。
All good things come to an end.
天下没有不散的筵席。
All rivers run into sea.
海纳百川。
All roads lead to Rome.
条条大路通罗马。
All that ends well is well.
结果好,就一切都好。
All that glitters is not gold.
闪光的不一定都是金子。
All things are difficult before they are easy.
凡事总是由难而易。
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
只会用功不玩耍,聪明孩子也变傻。
A man becomes learned by asking questions.
不耻下问才能有学问。
A man can do no more than he can.
凡事都应量力而行。
A man cannot spin and reel at the same time.
一心不能二用。
A man is known by his friends.
什么人交什么朋友。
A man of words and not of deeds is like a garden full of weeds.
光说空话不做事,犹如花园光长刺。
A man without money is no man at all.
一分钱难倒英雄汉。
A merry heart goes all the way.
心旷神怡,事事顺利。
A miss is as good as a mile.
温馨提示:答案为网友推荐,仅供参考
第1个回答  2007-06-29
英语笑话:confession

A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional box, sits down but says nothing.
The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk just sits there.
Finally the Priest pounds three times on the wall.
The drunk replies, "ain't no use knockin, there's no paper on this side either."

A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"

一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."

Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says
"Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"!

四个好朋友在医院里碰面了,他们的妻子正在生产.护士过来对第一个男人说:"恭喜,你得了双胞胎."男人说:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼苏达双子队的经理."过了一会儿,护士过来对第二个男人说:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜欢:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最后,护士跑来对第三个男人说:"恭喜,你得了2对双胞胎."男人很开心地说:"真令人啼笑皆非,我为四季宾馆工作."他们三个都很高兴,但第四个伙伴急得像热锅上的蚂蚁,咒骂上帝并用头撞墙.他们问他有什么不对劲,他回答道:"什么不对劲?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"
呵呵,一个比一个效率高.

Osama Bin Laden, a Canadian, and President Bush were walking down the street when they saw a golden lamp. They rubbed it and a genie came out and said, "I will grant each one a wish that’s 3 together." The Canadian said, "I am a father and my son will be a farmer so I want the soil in Canada to be forever fertile." The genie said the magic words and the wish came true. Osama looked amazed so he wished for a wall around Afghanistan the genie said the magic words and again the wish came true. President Bush said "Genie, tell me more about this wall," the genie said,” It’s 50 feet thick and 500 feet tall so nothing can get in and nothing can get out." President Bush said,” Wow! That’s a big bridge...Fill it with water!!!
拉登,一加拿大人还有布什总统走在大街上看到一盏金色的灯.他们擦了擦灯出现了一个精灵.精灵说:"我要满足你们每人一个愿望总共三个."加拿大人说:"我是个父亲我儿子将成为农夫,因此我想让加拿大的土地永远肥沃."精灵说了咒语愿望实现了.拉登看了很惊奇,他希望有座城墙围绕阿富汗.精灵又说了咒语愿望又实现了.布什总统问:"精灵请告诉我关于这座墙的事情."精灵回答:"墙厚50英尺,高500英尺,因而里面的任何东西出不来外面的任何东西进不去."布什总统说:"哇!那是座大桥耶...注满水!!!"

My Baby Swallowed a Bullet

Young Mother: "Doctor, my baby swallowd a bullet. What shall I do ?

Doctor: "Don't point him at anybody."

Notes
1. to swallow a bullet: 吞下一颗子弹
2. to point at: 对...瞄准

allybaby
Once two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing. The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly:"First, you should make sure that he is already dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:"What should I do next?"

两个猎人进森林里打猎,其中一个猎人不慎跌倒,两眼翻白,似已停止呼吸。另一个猎人赶紧拿出手机拨通紧急求助电话。接线员沉着地说:“第一步,要先确定你的朋友已经死亡。”于是,接线员在电话里听到一声枪响,然后听到那猎人接着问:“第二步怎办?”

fool_fox

标题:I'm the boss
内容:The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local card and novelty shop and bought a small sign that read, "I'm the Boss". He then taped it to his office door.Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said. "Your wife called, she wants her sign back!"
note:staff meeting:员工会议

Wife's picture
A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks.
After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then he orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that one, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini.
The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring you martinis all night long. But you go to tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill."
The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife.When she starts to look good, then I know it's time to go home."
note:tavern 酒馆, 客栈
martini 马提尼酒
peek/pi;k/ n.一瞥, 匆忙看过v.偷看

英语笑话Jackasses jokes
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight around,
looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack,
a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark
saying "Jesus is watching you."

The thief nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off and froze.
When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, clicked the light
back on and began searching for more valuables.

Just as he pulled the stereo so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell
he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shone his light around
frantically looking for the source of the voice.

Finally, in the corner of the room, flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

"Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot.

"Yep," the parrot confessed, "I'm just trying to warn you."

The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who the are you?"

"Moses," replied the bird.

"Moses??!!" the burglar laughed. "What kind of stupid people would name a
parrot Moses?"

"Probably the same kind of people that would name a rottweiler Jesus," the
bird answered
第2个回答  2007-07-01
A bad beginning makes a bad ending.
不善始者不善终。
A bad thing never dies.
遗臭万年。
A bad workman always blames his tools.
不会撑船怪河弯。
A bird in the hand is worth than two in the bush.
一鸟在手胜过双鸟在林。
A boaster and a liar are cousins-german.
吹牛与说谎本是同宗。
A bully is always a coward.
色厉内荏。
A burden of one‘s choice is not felt.
爱挑的担子不嫌重。
A candle lights others and consumes itself.
蜡烛照亮别人,却毁灭了自己。
A cat has 9 lives.
猫有九条命。
A cat may look at a king.
人人平等。
A close mouth catches no flies.
病从口入。
A constant guest is never welcome.
常客令人厌。
Actions speak louder than words.
事实胜于雄辩。
Adversity leads to prosperity.
穷则思变。
Adversity makes a man wise, not rich.
逆境出人才。
A fair death honors the whole life.
死得其所,流芳百世。
A faithful friend is hard to find.
知音难觅。
A fall into a pit, a gain in your wit.
吃一堑,长一智。
A fox may grow gray, but never good.
江山易改,本性难移。
A friend in need is a friend indeed.
患难见真情。
A friend is easier lost than found.
得朋友难,失朋友易。
A friend is never known till a man has need.
需要之时方知友。
A friend without faults will never be found.
没有十全十美的朋友。
‘After you‘ is good manners.
“您先请”是礼貌。
A good beginning is half done.
良好的开端是成功的一半。
A good beginning makes a good ending.
善始者善终。
A good book is a good friend.
好书如挚友。
A good book is the best of friends, the same today and forever.
一本好书,相伴一生。
A good conscience is a soft pillow.
不做亏心事,不怕鬼叫门。
A good fame is better than a good face.
美名胜过美貌。
A good husband makes a good wife.
夫善则妻贤。
A good medicine tastes bitter.
良药苦口。
A good wife health is a man‘s best wealth.
妻贤身体好是男人最大的财富。
A great talker is a great liar.
说大话者多谎言。
A hedge between keeps friendship green.
君子之交淡如水。
A joke never gains an enemy but loses a friend.
戏谑不能化敌为友,只能使人失去朋友。
A leopard cannot change its spots.
积习难改。
A liar is not believed when he speaks the truth.
说谎者即使讲真话也没人相信。
A light heart lives long.
静以修身。
A little body often harbors a great soul.
浓缩的都是精品。
A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.
一知半解,自欺欺人。
A little pot is soon hot.
狗肚子盛不得四两油。
All are brave when the enemy flies.
敌人逃窜时,人人都成了勇士。
All good things come to an end.
天下没有不散的筵席。
All rivers run into sea.
海纳百川。
All roads lead to Rome.
条条大路通罗马。
All that ends well is well.
结果好,就一切都好。
All that glitters is not gold.
闪光的不一定都是金子。
All things are difficult before they are easy.
凡事总是由难而易。
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
只会用功不玩耍,聪明孩子也变傻。
A man becomes learned by asking questions.
不耻下问才能有学问。
A man can do no more than he can.
凡事都应量力而行。
A man cannot spin and reel at the same time.
一心不能二用。
A man is known by his friends.
什么人交什么朋友。
A man of words and not of deeds is like a garden full of weeds.
光说空话不做事,犹如花园光长刺。
A man without money is no man at all.
一分钱难倒英雄汉。
A merry heart goes all the way.
心旷神怡,事事顺利。
A miss is as good as a mile.

参考资料:http://edu.china.com/zh_cn/elearn/xxzq/dx/11015169/20031213/11586511_1.html

第3个回答  2007-06-30
四个好朋友在医院里碰面了,他们的妻子正在生产.护士过来对第一个男人说:"恭喜,你得了双胞胎."男人说:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼苏达双子队的经理."过了一会儿,护士过来对第二个男人说:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜欢:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最后,护士跑来对第三个男人说:"恭喜,你得了2对双胞胎."男人很开心地说:"真令人啼笑皆非,我为四季宾馆工作."他们三个都很高兴,但第四个伙伴急得像热锅上的蚂蚁,咒骂上帝并用头撞墙.他们问他有什么不对劲,他回答道:"什么不对劲?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"
呵呵,一个比一个效率高.

Osama Bin Laden, a Canadian, and President Bush were walking down the street when they saw a golden lamp. They rubbed it and a genie came out and said, "I will grant each one a wish that’s 3 together." The Canadian said, "I am a father and my son will be a farmer so I want the soil in Canada to be forever fertile." The genie said the magic words and the wish came true. Osama looked amazed so he wished for a wall around Afghanistan the genie said the magic words and again the wish came true. President Bush said "Genie, tell me more about this wall," the genie said,” It’s 50 feet thick and 500 feet tall so nothing can get in and nothing can get out." President Bush said,” Wow! That’s a big bridge...Fill it with water!
第4个回答  2007-06-30
第一:如果你的手抄报绝大部分是笑话,我个人认为可以叫:“ARE YOU JOKING?”
这本是一个俗语,但用到这儿,我觉得还是挺合适的。
第二:如果你的手抄报以笑话为主,但比例并不是特别大,我认为可以叫:“ENGLISH MIX”
“英语的混合物”不就是什么都有了么?
当然这都是个人观点,仅供参考。
希望你这次还能拿奖!!加油!!