My mother, dead now to this world but still roaming free in my mind, wakes me some mornings before daybreak. "If there's one thing I can't stand, it's a quitter."
我的母亲虽然已经离开这个世界，但是她的形象常浮现在我的脑海里，在破晓前提醒我黎明即将到来。“如果我不能承担一件事，那么就是懦夫”
I have heard her say that all my life. Now, lying in bed, coming awake in the dark, I feel the fury of her energy fighting the good-for-nothing idler within me who wants to go back to sleep instead of tackling the brave new day.
我一辈子老是听到他说这句话。现在，在黑暗中醒过来，躺在床上，在我想回去在睡觉而不是勇敢的面对新的一天时，我便能感受到她与一无是处的懒汉的对抗是如此激烈
Silently I protest: I am not a child anymore I have made something of myself. I am entitled to sleep late.
我暗暗抗议道：我已经不是小孩子了，我可以自己处理一些事情的，我有权利睡迟些的
"Russell, you've got no more initiative than a bump on a log ."
“罗素，你还没有原木上的凸起那么进取”
She has hounded me with these battle cries since I was a boy in short pants.
当我还是个穿着开裆裤的孩子时，他就已经用这些口号来敦促我
"Make something of yourself!"
“试着自己完成一些事情”
"Don't be a quitter!"
“不要做一个轻易放弃的人”
"Have a little ambition."
“要有一些小志向”
The civilized man of the world within me scoffs at materialism and strivers after success: He has read the philosophers and social critics. He thinks it is vulgar and unworthy to spend one's life pursuing money, power, fame, and - "Sometimes you act like you're not worth the powder and shot it would take to blow you up with."
这世界上有教养的人包括我在内，在成功之后便嘲笑唯物主义：他读懂哲学家和社会评论家。他认为穷其一生去追求金钱，权利，名声，以及——“有时你表现得你不该被这些子弹所摧毁”，是很肤浅也很不值得的
Life had been hard for my mother ever since her father died, leaving nothing but debts. The family house was lost, the children scattered. My mother's mother, fatally ill with tubercular infection, fell into a suicidal depression and was institutionalized. My mother, who had just started college, had to quit and look for work.
自从我父亲去世后，生活便变得很困难，因为我父亲除了一笔债务什么都没有留下。房子没有了，孩子们被分散了。我母亲的母亲，不幸的患上了结核病，意气消沉的想自杀并且遭受收容机构所产生的不良影响。刚上大学的母亲不得不辍学去找工作
Then, after five years of marriage and three babies, her husband died in 1930, leaving my mother so poor that she had to give up her baby Audrey for adoption. Maybe the bravest thing she did was give up Audrey, only ten months old, to my Uncle Tom and Aunt Goldie. Uncle Tom, one of my father's brothers, had a good job with the railroad and could give Audrey a comfortable life.
然后，维持五年的婚姻，她的丈夫死于1930年，留下和三个孩子，我的母亲很贫苦，以至于他不得不把小奥德丽送给别人收养。或许他做过最勇敢的事就是放弃只有十个月大的奥黛丽，把她送给汤姆叔叔和歌迪亚婶婶。汤姆叔叔，我父亲的一个兄弟，在铁道局有一份好工作，可以提供奥黛丽舒适的生活
My mother headed off with my other sister and me to take shelter with her brother Allen, poor relatives dependent on his goodness. She eventually found work patching grocers' smocks at ten dollars a week in a laundry.
我母亲带着我姐姐和我去投奔他的哥哥阿伦，这个善良的穷亲戚。他后来在一家洗衣店找到一份工作，是缝补食品杂货商的工作服，一周十美元
Mother would have like it better if I could have grown up to be President or a rich businessman, but much as she loved me, she did not deceive herself. Before I was out of primary school, she could see I lacked the gifts for either making millions or winning the love of crowds. After that she began nudging me toward working with words.
母亲希望我长大后可以成为总统或者富商，但是她是如此的爱我，所以他并没有擅自决定。在我小学毕业前，他就看出了我没有能力赚上百万也没有能力万人景仰。自此之后他便开始将我引向从事文字工作这条路
Words ran in her family. There seemed to be a word gene that passed down from her maternal grandfather. He was a school-teacher, his daughter Lulie wrote poetry, and his son Charlie became New York correspondent for the Baltimore, Maryland, Herald. In the turn-of-the-century American South, still impoverished by the Civil War, words were a way out.
文学为他的家人所共有。好像是他母系外祖父的文学基因一代一代遗传了下来。他是一名教师，他的女儿陆莉写过诗，他的儿子查理是纽约驻马里兰州巴尔的摩港市的先驱特约记者。世纪之交的南美，因为民族战争而穷困潦倒，然而从事文字工作依然是条出路
The most spectacular proof was my mother's first cousin Edwin. He was managing editor of the New York Times. He had traveled all over Europe, proving that words could take you to places so glorious and so far from the place you came from that your own kin could only gape in wonder and envy. My mother used Edwin as an example of how far a man could go without much talent.
最显著的证明是我母亲的大表哥爱德温。他是《纽约时报》的总编辑。他曾经游历整个欧洲，证明了文学可以带你遨游壮丽的地方，也可以带你远离你的所在地，是你的亲戚只有张口结舌和嫉妒的份。我母亲以爱德温为例，告诉我，一个人就算没有什么天资也可以很出色
"Edwin James was no smarter than anybody else, and look where he is today," my mother said, and said, and said again, so that I finally grew up thinking Edwin James was a dull clod who had a lucky break. Maybe she left that way about him, but she was saying something deeper. She was telling me I didn't have to be brilliant to get where Edwin had go to, that the way to get to the top was to work, work, work.
“爱德温·詹姆斯没有比别人聪明多少，但是你看看他今天的成就。”我的母亲说，说，反复的说，以至于我长大后，认为爱德温·詹姆斯是个迟钝的呆子，只不过运气比较好而已。他就以这种方式来讲述他，但是他还有更深层的意思。他要告诉我的，不是要我像爱德温那样那么辉煌，而是想让我知道到达顶峰的途径是工作，工作，工作
When my mother saw that I might have the word gift, she started trying to make it grow. Though desperately poor, she signed up for a deal that supplied one volume of "World's Greatest Literature" every month at 39 cents a book.
当我的母亲看到我拥有文学天分时，他开始尝试着使它有所发展。虽然极其贫困，但是他签了一份协议，这份协议是每个月花39分供一卷名为《世界上最伟大的文学》的书
I respected those great writers, but what I read with joy were newspapers. I lapped up every word about monstrous crimes, dreadful accidents and hideous butcheries committed in faraway wars. Accounts of murderers dying in the electric chair fascinated me, and I kept close track of last meals ordered by condemned men.
我很尊敬那些伟大的作家，但是我喜欢的读的是报纸。我逐字逐句的研读那些骇人听闻的犯罪活动，令人恐惧的事件以及可怕的杀人案。大量的凶手死于电椅，这使我很着迷，我还记录死刑囚犯点的最后的晚餐
In 1947 I graduated from Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore and learned that the Baltimore Sun needed a police reporter. Two or three classmates at Hopkins also applied for the job. Why I was picked was a mystery. It paid $30 a week. When I complained that was insulting for a college man, my mother refused to sympathize.
1947年，我从巴尔的摩港市的约翰·霍普金斯大学毕业，了解到巴尔的摩港太阳报需要一名警方记者。两三个霍普金斯的同学也去应征这份工作。很奇怪的，我被录取了。这份工作周薪是30美元。当我抱怨说这周薪对于一个大学毕业的人来说是一种侮辱，我的母亲并不谅解我
"If you work hard at this job," she said, "maybe you can make something of it. Then they'll have to give you a raise."
“如果你很努力的工作，”他说，“你也许可以从中得到一些提升。那么他们就必须给你升工资。”
Seven years later I was assigned by the Sun to cover the White House. For most reporters, being White House correspondent was as close to heaven as you could get. I was 29 years old and puffed up with pride. I went to see my mother's delight while telling her about it. I should have known better.
七年后，《太阳报》派我去白宫采访。对绝大部分记者来说，能够去白宫采访就如同你快要接近天堂一样。那年我29岁，骄傲的趾高气扬。我很高兴的去见我母亲，并告诉他这件事。我应该被别人所熟知
"Well, Russ," she said, "if you work hard at this White House job, you might be able to make something of yourself."
“嗯，罗素，”他说，“如果你做好白宫这份工作，你会有所收获的”
Onward and upward was the course she set. Small progress was no excuse for feeling satisfied with yourself. People who stopped to pat themselves on the back didn't last long. Even if you got to the top, you'd better not take it easy. "The bigger they come, the harder they fall" was one of her favorite maxims.
她所设立的方向就是不断向前，不断向上攀登。小小的进步不能作为自我满足的借口。那些固步自封的人是不会有所长进的。即使到达顶峰，你也不能放松。”爬得越高，摔得越痛。”这是他最喜欢的格言之一
During my early years in the newspaper business, I began to entertain childish fantasies of revenge against Cousin Edwin. Wouldn't it be delightful if I became such an outstanding reporter that the Times hired me without knowing I was related to the great Edwin? Wouldn't it be delicious if Edwin himself invited me into his huge office and said, "Tell me something about yourself, young man?" What exquisite vengeance to reply, "I am the only son of your poor cousin Lucy Elizabeth Robinson."
早年在报社工作时，我就抱着幼稚幻想，想要报复爱德温表哥。如果我成为一名很出色的记者，《泰晤士报》在不知道我和伟大的爱德温之间的关系的情况下，雇用了我，想想就觉得高兴。如果爱德温亲自请我去他的办公室，并说：”年轻人，介绍一下你自己吧？”，我报复性的回答道：”我是你的穷亲戚露西?伊丽莎白?罗宾逊的独子”， 想想就觉得有趣
What would one day happen was right out of my wildest childhood fantasy. The Times did come knocking at my door, though Cousin Edwin had departed by the time I arrived. Eventually I would be offered one of the gaudiest prizes in American journalism: a column in the New York Times.
而我这个幼稚的幻想，有一天还真的就发生了。我被《泰晤士报》录用了，虽然在我到这之前，爱德温表哥已经去世了。最终我得到了美国新闻业最华而不实的奖赏之一：在《纽约泰晤士报》拥有一个专栏
It was not a column meant to convey news, but a writer's column commenting on the news by using different literary forms: essay devices, satire, burlesque, sometimes even fiction. It was?proof that my mother had been absolutely right when she sized me up early in life and steered me toward literature.
它不是一个播报新闻的专栏，而是一个运用不同的文学形式去评论新闻的专栏，这些文学形式有：议论的形式，讽刺的手法，诙谐的方式，有时还会用虚构的手段。这也证明了我母亲所做的一切是完全正确的，他从小就看出我的潜能，引导我走上了文学这条路
The column won its share of medals, including a Pulitzer Prize for journalism in 1979. My mother never knew about that .the circuitry of her brain had collapsed the year before, and she was in a nursing home, out of touch with life forevermore.
这个专栏获得了多方好评，还在1979年获得了专为新闻业设立的普利策奖。我的母亲在此之前不知道他的脑电图会衰竭，之后他便住在疗养院，永远的跟我失去了联系
I can only guess how she'd have responded to news of the Pulitzer. I'm pretty sure she would have said, "That's nice. It shows if you buckle down and work hard, you'll be able to make something of yourself one of these days."
我只能想象当知道我得到普利策奖时他的反应。我肯定他会这么说：”不错。这表明只要你全力以赴，努力工作，总有一天，你会得到属于你的东西”
In time there would be an attack on the values my mother preached and I have lived by. In the 1960s and '70s, people who admitted to wanting to amount to something were put down as materialists idiotically wasting their lives in the "rat race."
我母亲反复灌输的价值观及时的发生作用，我也以此生活下去。在19世纪六七十年代，那些承认想成为重要人物的人，都被认为是愚蠢的唯物主义者，把生命浪费在毫无意义的竞争中
I tried at first to roll with the new age. I decided not to drive my children, as my mother had driven me, with those corrupt old demands that they amount to something.
一开始，我尝试开创一个新纪元。虽然我的母亲曾经用那些要求他们成为重要人物的讹化的古说迫使我走他想好的路，但是我还是决定不逼迫我的孩子
The new age exalted love, self-gratification and passive philosophies that aimed at helping people resign themselves to the status quo, March of this seemed preposterous to me, but I conceded that my mother might have turned me into a coarse materialist (one defect in her code was its emphasis on money and position), so I kept my heretical suspicious to myself.
新纪元赞颂爱，自我满足以及豁达的哲人态度。豁达的哲人态度有助于人们安于现状。这个过程在我看起来十分可笑，但是我必须承认我的母亲使我变成了粗俗的唯物主义者（她的规范有一个缺点，就是很重视金钱和地位），所以我一直保持着自我怀疑的异端思想
And then, realized I had failed to fire my own children with ambition, I broke. One evening at dinner, I heard my self shouting, "Don't you want to amount to something?"
之后，我发现我无法激发起我的孩子的野心，便放弃了。一天晚上在吃饭时，我听到我自己在喊：”你不想成为重要人物吗？”
The children looked blank. Amount to something? What a strange expression. I could see their thoughts: That isn't Dad yelling. That's those martinis he had before dinner.
孩子们一脸茫然。成为重要人物？多么奇怪的表情。我知道他们在想什么：不是爸爸在吼叫。是他饭前喝的马提尼在作怪
It wasn't the gin that was shouting. It was my mother. The gin only gave me the courage to announce to them that yes, by God, I had always believed in success, had always believed that without hard work and self-discipline you could never amount to anything, and didn't deserve to.
不是因为酒精引起的喊叫，是我的母亲。酒精只是赋予我勇气向他们宣告那些。我一直相信成功，一直相信如果不努力工作和自律，你便成不了重要人物，也得不到你想要的。
It would turn out that the children's bleak school reports did not forebode failure, but a refusal to march to the drumbeat of the ordinary, which should have made me proud. Now they are grown people with children of their own, and we like one another and have good times when we are together.
So it is with a family. We carry the dead generations within us and pass them on to the future aboard our children. This keeps the people of the past alive long after we have taken them to the graveyard.
"if there's one thing I can't stand, Russell, it's quitter."
“如果我不能承担一件事，罗素，那么就是懦夫”
Lord, I can hear her still.
上帝，我现在还可以听到他所说的
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